A Rose with Thorns? Or Thorns with a Rose?

Since my last update, I have gone through a few different events where I feel this statement sums it up: Does a rose have thorns… or do thorns have a rose?

It makes me think of the common phrase, “Do you see the glass half full or half empty?” Even though some people answer one or the other, some may give the witty answer, “I’m happy I at least have a glass.”

St. Paul mentions in 2 Corinthians 12 his thorn in the flesh. I mentioned in one of my updates that there is someone here who is my thorn in my flesh. I’ve realized we constantly discover these "thorns", consciously or unconsciously, and they help us grow deeper in Christ. They help us grow stronger and finally help us press into Christ and his love and mercy.

When I think of a thorn, it doesn’t seem to pleasant. I think of pain, bleeding, having to dig it out after it sticks in my finger. But the beautiful part is that the most common place we see thorns is on a rose. And we enjoy roses for so many occasions: love, birthdays, anniversaries, just-because-days, etc. The rose is what we normally enjoy, not the thorn. In fact, many of us will cut off the thorns so we DON’T hurt ourselves… not realizing the importance of the thorns… that they supply and hold water to the rose. Even if we put the rose in water, the rose won’t get as much as it would have with the thorns attached.

It’s the same for us… for me at least. So many times I try to ignore or get rid of the pain and suffering in my life. And I’m not only talking about physical. I’m also talking about those people who I can’t stand, the situations in life which I can’t control, etc. The things that just irk me… the things that would remind me of a splinter/thorn under the flesh. I think, “Lord, can’t I just have the rose? Why the thorns too??” While I may not get the answer, He knows the reason. He is the Creator, the One who put together the Divine Plan. He knows how the “thorns” in my life cooperate and work together with the “roses” in my life… or with anything else for that matter.
So up comes the question from the beginning: is your life a rose with thorns… or is it thorns with a rose? It may seem the same thing, but if you think about it, there is a difference… at least in my mind there is

The Thorn in the Flesh as the Instrument to Better Service

So I am back! After quite a long time!! There are going to be lots of L'Arche updates, talking about reflections with my core members here at L'Arche Irenicon. Some of these you may (or may not) have read if you received emails from me.

Debbie is similar to JC, who I used to help out with in Arizona. Debbie and I ended up spending A LOT of time this afternoon and evening together, not by choice but because we had to. I figured welp, I'm gonna make the best of this. At dinner she would not stop complaining about her new diet plan she has to be on. She recently found out she is diabetic. The doctor put her on the same type of diet I'm on and she has to check her sugar twice a day. She HATES it. So this evening she was more like Harry who Bill used to take care of who passed away last year: complain, complain, complain.

After dinner I helped give her a bath (she only needs a tad of assistance) and I don't know why but it was at that moment that my view of her changed. It's almost like the station of the cross, where Jesus was stripped of his clothes. (ok getting choked up now)... It's like, as if she wasn't vulnerable enough before, now she is even stripped of her clothes, down to her nothingness, she even needs help washing herself. ::sigh:: I felt for her Another assistant Colleen was the one washing her. Debbie and I locked eyes for what seemed like forever and it seemed like we had a conversation without words, one where I felt I said "I'm sorry you have to go through this" and where she replied, "I'm sorry you feel sorry.". I COULDN'T be upset at her. Now... I know there will be times I will forget that moment and I will let the frustration take over (fight between the flesh and the spirit!) but that moment was worth it all!

It gets even better... after her shower it was time for her next glucose test. She was complaining again. I thought hey, why not test mine too... monkey see monkey do. I pulled mine out and her face lit up and she smiled. She asked me why do I have one, I told her it was because I’m hypoglycemic, I have something similar to her diabetes. Then she smiled again and stopped complaining. I told her from now on I will test mine with her sometimes and she said, "And we can go through the pain together." I smiled and said "Yup! Definetely."

Even better... ready... Then Noland remembered we didn't do her topicals yet. So lucky me got to do more with Debbie. And her topicals are put on the best place... the feet. So on go the gloves and as I sit there on the floor, putting on the creams on her toes and feet, all I could think about was John's gospel on Holy Thursday ... Jesus told his disciples, so I have done unto you, so you should do to others. And flashes of different images kept going through my mind: of Jesus washing the disciples’ feet, then of this past Triduum when Fr. Dan washed mine and the thoughts going through my mind at that time like what is God calling me to do and whose "feet" am I called to "wash"... etc etc. Then when I was done I said to Debbie, "Ok chica. You're all set!" "Chica? What's that?" she asked so joyfully. "Well it's a nickname kind of thing." Then she smiled in such a happy way that I haven't seen yet and I could tell she was just glowing. And it put such a joy in my heart.

So even though I didn't find an answer from Tom in the office on the exact details of the "how" to deal with JC's or Debbie's, I believe God provides opportunities to deal with them, we just have to keep our eyes and hearts open. Wash their feet. Meet them where they are at. Suffer with them. While I know it's not going to be cake and flowers the whole road down, I'm glad God gave me a ray of light. I'm also glad that I stayed at the house tonight to type this out and reflect on it versus going out with the assistants to a party. Again... the balancing act between prayer and fun...