But It FEEEELS Like the Right Thing to Do? (Part 1)

We all face decisions throughout our day. Some are easy, such as “What should I have for breakfast?” Some get a little tougher, “I have no idea what I am going to get him for his birthday!” But eventually really tough ones get to us… “I didn’t study for my test and if I don’t pass it I fail the class! But the kid next to me is smart, I’ll just peek over…” Or “My co-worker ditched me on this plan for work! But now we have a new plan and I can do the same back to her!” These are all things that FEEL right but are they really? So you have this decision to make. You either choose A… or B. Choice A doesn’t seem like a good choice because Choice B is the one that FEELS right. Hmmm… what to do?

This is something we all fall into, including myself, very often. A lot of times without realizing it we choose B because it feels right. If it makes us feel good, that must mean it’s the right decision. But the problem here is that we can’t base all our decisions on feelings because feelings CHANGE! They change like the wind!! So what do we base it on? I mean let’s be honest, feelings are like the only thing we humans can REALLY know for certain these days, right? WRONG!

Since feelings change, we have to base it on something that never changes, our faith. Our God Almighty is a God of sturdiness and steadfastness. He is constant and will never change. If we base our decisions in life on Him and on our faith, then we will be all set. If you’re saying, “Ya Jen that sounds easier said then done,” then you’re right. It is because a lot of times it is difficult to “hear” God over those powerful feelings. That is why you have to place yourself in the stillness and of prayer. “Be still and know that I am God!” We live in such a busy world and so often that is where we try to make our decisions. No wonder we don’t know what to do!

I have lived in Massachusetts all my life. My whole family and my best friend for 12 years live there. We all are VERY close. For the past few months in prayer I kept feeling a tug at my heart that God wanted me to go elsewhere for a job. I kept ignoring it because I thought it was just my feelings due to some frustration going on where I was at that time. But it kept coming up mostly in… keyword… PRAYER. And since it continually happened I decided to try it out. I ended up getting a job offer for Director of Youth Ministry: Lifeteen & EDGE at a parish in Arizona and after praying about it just knew it was the one.

Now I can’t say it was the easiest thing I have ever done. I am 2,600 miles away from everyone I know. Moving here I knew NO ONE!!! I had almost every negative feeling in the book. I was scared, completely sad to leave my family, mad at God to take me away from them and confused not knowing what to do. Every time I went to pray I would cry and say “Why God? Why me?? Why now?” But after I finished crying, I had this amazing peace inside from the Holy Spirit comforting me, almost like saying, “It will be alright. I am with you always” because He is. Even if we don’t “feel” Him there, we have to, once again, base it on faith that He is. (more to come on this in Part 2)

I’ve been here in Arizona now for a few days and I already know that this is the perfect place for me. Everything fits perfectly from the job, to my home, to co-worker personalities. If I had based my decision on those negative feelings I had, I would not have been able to make the right decisions and come out to do God’s will. I most likely would have stayed in Massachusetts and probably been going in circles, versus coming out here, out of my comfort zone, and seeing the next milestone God has in plan for me. I am wicked excited! ;-)

"For this God is our God forever and ever; He will be our guide even to the end." Psalm 48:14

Right Place Right Time

Have you ever found yourself at the right place at the right time? Ever wonder if God placed you there on purpose? Even the simplest things, simplest events.

For instance, this past weekend I was volunteering at a Catholic youth conference, just as I have been doing for the past 6 years, called Steubenville East held at Our Lady of La Salette Shrine in Attleboro, MA. Approximately 1500-3000 teens gather there. There are around 17 other Steubenville conferences around the nation as well. Anyways, I had been trying to go to the gift shop all weekend but never had a chance. Finally, I was able to on Sunday. When I was in line to check-out, there was a teen behind me. He was buying a wallet-sized card with a braille kind of rosary on it.

Now I could have easily just stood quietly and minded my own business, but I decided to strike a conversation with him. I told him I used to have one of those cards just like his, but lost it. He told me he thought it was a cool idea to have one. We talked a bit about it, then he asked me, "Do you know why there are 5 decades in the rosary instead of just one?" Perfect question! So we got into a conversation on something a lot of people forget, or just don't know about: the mysteries of the rosaries. He had no idea there were mysteries we are supposed to pray with. I told him the Hail Mary's are kind of like 'background music' to the mysteries and also where he can find them online. He said thanks and was so grateful and we went on our own seperate ways.

Now I wonder, did God place me there to help him understand the rosary better? Would he have given up if he didn't run into me? Let's be honest, praying 50 Hail Mary's with nothing to focus on CAN be boring after a while. With the mysteries of the rosary, a person grows closer to Christ, so maybe that is why I was placed there at that moment. I don't know, all I know is that I was at the right place at the right time. Also I believe there are no coincidences. I could think of so many stories like this one. You probably could also.

God has a plan for all of us. We just have to listen and pay attention to His Word. Someone once told me sometimes we see God as this God who we only go to when we need something. So we are always talking, talking, talking. But that should only be part of our relationship with Him. Sometimes we never LISTEN to what HE has to say. We have to SHUT UP & LISTEN! It's OK to talk to God. He loves to hear what His beloved children have to say, but He has so much to tell us also. He speaks to our hearts. Sometimes it takes practice to hear Him: weeks, months, even YEARS before you "hear" God. But I PROMISE you that if you stick to it and to prayer, continuously, you will. It took 2 years until I finally felt God speak to my heart in the silence of prayer, but when He finally did, it was the best moment ever! And it was the most crucial, surprising, unexpected moment also. Those are usually the moments He works.

God DOES speak to our hearts. We just have to trust, believe, have faith, and most of all, shut up and listen sometimes! :)

It's All About Love...

It’s a rainy day and I’m driving to work. As I turned on the radio it was set to KLOVE, a Christian radio station, one of my favorites, but as I got closer to work, it faded out so I had to decide between changing the station or putting on a CD… I decided a CD: my new favorite Jars of Clay. I fast-forwarded to my favorite song, Love Song for Savior. As it started, I noticed someone tailgating behind me, so I went to change lanes to let him pass and as I did I fell into a pothole. Thank God there was no popped tire, but as I fell in that pothole something fell into my lap: my holy card that was pinned to the ceiling of my car.


The song kept playing and was moving my heart, “Some day she’ll trust, learn how to see Him, someday He’ll call her, she will come running, fall in His arms the tears will fall down and she’ll pray I want to fall in love with you…’” I looked at the holy card (don’t worry, I was watching the road too!) and remembered the first time I got it: my parish from my home town in Taunton where I go to daily Mass. One of the times I stayed to pray afterwards a man named Jerry came up to me and gave me the card. It was from Medugorje and he said “Our Lady, Mother Mary, wants you to have this.” I read it and started to cry. I told him “You have no idea how much this means to me. I was just praying for God to help me have a relationship with Mary. I don’t know how to accept her as my spiritual mother. I don’t understand the whole theology behind it. It’s so hard.” On the front of the card it reads: “If you knew how much I love you you’d cry for joy.” On the back it has a message from her and says “Dear children, I invite you for your individual conversion. This time is for you! Without you God’s plan cannot be realized. Dear children grow day by day closer to God through prayer. I give you the Weapon Against Your Goliath. Here are Your Little Stones: 1) Prayer with the Heart: Rosary 2) Eucharist 3) Holy Bible 4) Fasting 5) Monthly Confession.


The song I was listening to in the car continually repeats “I want to fall in love with You, I want to fall in love with You….” It repeats this over and over so many times in the song. To fall in love with Christ. During my ride to work today I was thinking how can I get closer to Christ? I realize how much I am falling, I am not as close as I use to be, as I could be, as I want to be and I am definitely not as close as God wants me to be. So I thought about it and was praying God help me get close to you and that is when this card fell on my lap… ya… weird! All those things on the card are EXACTLY what I needed to hear. To grow closer to God I need to get back to prayer, reading the bible, daily Mass, and better yet, Mary is who can help me with this!


Our Mother Mary is such an amazing way to bring us closer to Christ, her Son. Have you ever realized how a mother and her child have this indescribable connection no one else has? I have been told you can only understand it if you ARE a mother. You know those times when the mother has what they call “gut instincts” when something is wrong? Or that special love where she only wants what is best that she would sacrifice anything for her little one? Mary relates to this. She is the Mother of Christ. She carried Him in her womb for 9 months. She fed Him, taught Him to walk, brought Him to the temple, and ultimately watched Him suffer and die. When we pray for her intercession, we know that she has the same will as God’s will. She wants the same for us as Christ, her Son, wants for us. She is holy and wants nothing evil. She wants to lead us to holiness so we can one day be with God and all the angels and saints. So why not ask for her intercession?

Mary, Queen of Peace,
Pray for us…

Pax Christi-

Jen

Change: What is it good for?

I woke up, the first thing I saw: my pictures hanging up next to my bed. What were they you ask? Most of them were from when I graduated from college last year, May 2007. I look at them often, but for some reason today I stared at them longer. Friends, priests, Jesus in the Portiuncula. Each one of them different, each one of them special. I reached over to the photo album next to my bed. It starts out with all my other graduation pictures. How I miss everyone! One by one I pass through them: professors, household sisters, friends from class, then finally, the one with me receiving my diploma.

A tear rolls down my face when I get to the section of memories with my household sisters: Warriors of the Word. Jess dressed in armor, piggy back rides, Lord's Day, A.D.D. moments, campfires, lots of amazing times.

As I sit here I think about how much I miss everyone. Sometimes I wish I could go back. But we are all called to change. Change. A word we hear so often. In politics, in church, conferences, TV, wherever. Change is something necessary in life. When I graduated from high school I didn't want to leave MA. I was scared to CHANGE locations, but God was calling me to stretch my comfort zone, so much that I ended up going to a small college Franciscan University in a small town in Steubenville, OH. This change was amazing. I think I turned out to be a pretty good person because of it.

Leaving such an amazing and holy college after graduation to come back to Massachusetts, another change I had to do because I am called by God to take what I have learned there and bring it to others. What the professors and priests have shown me I am supposed to, and want to, share with others. It's contagious! Christ said, "Go now and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Lo I am with you always until the end of the age." I don't have to worry. Christ is with me. Christ was with me there, He is with me now and He is with you.

No matter what change you are going through, or will be going through, whether it be graduation, moving to another city, state or even country, marriage or divorce, or even if the change has to do with something like you have to change your friends... God is with you and that is really all you need. He is your strength. Grab on to Him. Visit Him in prayer and the Sacraments. He will help you, give you the grace and whatever you need to get through it. Just trust and believe. The best prayer: "Lord I believe, help my unbelief." (Mark 9:24)

Pax Christi

Jen

I WANT A SNACK!!

“Mommy, I want a snack.” “Mommy, get me some ice cream!” “Daddy, do we have any cookies?” “Hey, where are the chips?” “I WANT JUNK FOOD!!”

If you are a parent, or even have some brothers or sisters, I am sure you have heard these demands, or something similar to them. Even our own stomachs sound the same sometimes. You know, those midnight cravings that ask you to go make that huge ice cream sundae! Or you ask yourself, hey where did that bag of Doritos I just bought yesterday go? Oh ya, I ate the whole thing watching the Red Sox game last night. Oops. (Yes, I am a Red Sox fan! Hey, I'm from Boston, whatchya gonna do!) The worst is when you get the craving about an hour after you just ate! Ugh! It happens to the best of us.

So what am I getting at? Well this is the same with our Catholic faith. It sounds funny but hear me out. We go to Mass on Sundays and think that our “obligation” is fulfilled. There. We are done. One hour… if that. But it really isn’t. Our soul isn’t satisfied. We weren’t built that way. God didn’t design us to only visit Him once a week for 45 minutes-1hour. He wants us EVERYDAY. He deserves us everyday.

So we get this desire (whether we realize it or not) to have more God in our lives throughout the week. Sunday Mass is like our “meal,” then until our next “meal” at the following Sunday Mass (unless you are super holy and go to daily Mass) we desire “snacks.” So what do we do? We go to the Lord in prayer. And what is the best way to do it than to go visit Him face to face in the Blessed Sacrament at Eucharistic Adoration! To see the same Christ we see at Mass during Holy Communion and to be able to gaze upon Him in the stillness, in the quiet.

So many of us are soooo busy in our lives. From jobs to job finding, from taking care of the family to trying to getting along with the family, being able to make ends meet with money, finding time to socialize or even just relax for that matter, physical problems to emotional problems. We have all felt them one time or another. Maybe some of you are feeling them all now and if you are, then holy cow I think that a time of Adoration is for you! We all need Christ whether we realize it or not. We are not meant to take care of ourselves on our own. We are not strong enough. “God is our refuge and our strength, an ever-present help in distress.” Psalm 46:2

You may be wondering why I am encouraging you to Eucharistic Adoration. Well, that is because it was through Christ in the Eucharist where my life made a complete 180 change. If it wasn’t for Him, I wouldn’t be Catholic, I wouldn’t believe what I believe, I wouldn’t be where I am today, and maybe, I wouldn't even be HERE.

I went to a Steubenville East Youth Conference 8 years ago. They had Eucharistic Adoration with some Praise and Worship music in the background on the second night. Up to that point I wasn’t too into the whole “Catholic” thing. I hadn’t gone to Mass or Confession in years because I felt it was too “boring.” The conference was going alright. The speakers were pretty good, but I was bored. Then during adoration I was finally awakened. Something inside of me stirred up. When I saw the Blessed Sacrament right in front of me I felt God’s love like I have never felt before. It was there where I realized that it didn’t matter whether my faith was boring or not, (even though it really isn’t!). It all depends on what I make of it and what I put into it.

Put your whole self in!! Don’t hold anything back!! Don’t just visit your faith for an hour on Sunday. Come visit Christ in Adoration when available. If you can’t, don't forget that He lives in you! St. Paul says, “Did you not know that you are a temple of the Holy Spirit?” Either in your room, at the dinner table, on your way to work, say a prayer. Or if you’re on the road and an ambulance passes by say a prayer for the patient and the EMT’s. What a way to incorporate God into your day.

God loves you and has shared with you all He has.

Now share with Him your love and all you have.

Pax Christi