The Dance with My Heavenly Father

Sunday, end of week 1…

It’s about 10:40pm.  I’m completely gross and haven’t showered in about 3 days because of a lack of water at this summer camp for special needs I am working at, but am still on cloud nine, in a place where five days ago I never thought I would be.  My camper whom I am taking care of this week is non-verbal and can be semi-aggressive.  She doesn’t care to participate in many, if any, activities and isn’t too hygienic.  Also since she isn’t verbal, you can imagine how difficult it was to figure out what she was trying to communicate when she threw her “fits.”  The beginning of the camp week was very difficult.  Not only because of who I was put with, but also because the camp seemed very disorganized.  I wanted to throw my own fits!

I knew there was a reason I was here and especially a reason I was paired with this camper.  Throughout the week, slowly but surely this camper I was paired with taught me something special.  I had prayed for God to show me that special gift. I didn’t want to give up so easily as I had done on things in the past.  About the 5^th day I had realized what it was: radiant joy.  Many times in life we need or look for a reason to be happy or joyful. My camper showed me that true joy doesn’t come from a reason; it comes from the core of our being.  Many of these campers, these developmentally disabled people are truly joyful not because of anything special that has happened but just because life has happened.  If anything, based on society’s views of happiness and joy, it should be ripped from them because of their circumstances: someone needs to be around them constantly, others need to see them naked while showering and changing, they probably won’t have a “real” job, the numerous medications they take which cause awful side effects, etc.  Yet, joy radiates from every fiber of their being.  And my camper, she has a smile that lights up the room and a laugh that catches everyone’s attention and is more contagious than a cold.

When today came, I never saw coming what came.  Thinking of Father’s Day and seeing people’s pictures of my friends as little girls dancing with their dads, well I must be honest, I was jealous.  I never had a good relationship with my dad.  So I was kind of bummed today.  Of course, my camper lifted my spirits 1000 times by the end of the day.  Tonight was the camp’s dance.  We got her all dressed up, fixed her hair up and she seemed very excited, showing it by her smile and noises she makes.  While waiting outside another provider and I tried showing her the playground to see if she would play.  It was a no go.  But then she held my hand which was a huge shock because she gets very tense at any sort of touch.  Then I tried holding her other hand asking, “Do you want to start dancing?” And I began making up some random song, “You’re so beautiful! Come dance with me!” and sure enough she began to sway with me holding both hands and laughing hysterically.  I couldn’t believe it!! She didn’t let go. She held both arms up in the air still holding on, interlacing fingers at this point, then lowering and still swaying and laughing more.  I’m kept singing and couldn’t believe my eyes.  Her wall had broken down. And mine also.

The whole week we were on the sidelines and everyone saw us as “stay away from them they are just hanging around doing nothing”, or “she doesn’t seem very fun she just sits there” but now my camper was the center of attention and she knew it because then she began to twirl me!! Twirl me over and over… and over until I literally almost fell over from dizziness.  I could not stop laughing.  Both of us couldn’t stop laughing.

At this point we needed to walk to the dance in the Rec room.  Even on the way there she kept twirling me.  It was my moment with heaven. I say that because the beginning of the week was SOOO difficult.  But if I didn’t go through those hard times I wouldn’t be able to appreciate this amazing moment of being twirled like a little girl… like a father would with her little girl. Something I’ve longed for in my life, to be twirled like a little girl by my father, God the Father did for me, and used as an instrument one whom He holds dearest to His heart. God loves me so much.